Saturday, December 31, 2011


The Game Of Life

What do you mean you’ve decided to go with a “different look” ?
Do you know who I am? 
Where’s Richard? 
I am Barbara Millicent Roberts and I refuse to be treated this way!
I AM NOT GOING TO DEAL WITH THE LIKES OF YOU ANYMORE, YOU SNOT NOSED BRAT!! Babs shouted as she pointed a gloved finger in Richards face.
How old are you ANYWAYS!! (She continued to rant) I can still smell the breast milk on your BREATH!!
Babs took a moment to compose herself and took a few cleansing breaths, silently grateful she enrolled in those anger management classes on Tuesday nights.
Slightly composed Babs says “Now be a dear and run along and get your father for me.” as she smoothed her perfectly pressed pencil skirt and took off her white gloves to show her flawless manicured talons.
Babs was in rare form and Jackson was putting on one hell of a show to appear cool, calm and collected.
While Jackson’s outer appearance was Oscar worthy, the rest of the board members of Mattel were all showing signs of discomfort.
Everyone knew of Babs, Barbie’s hard life.
Starting off in the industry at such a young age was not easy. Being “Barbie” the role model for every little girl globally became too much for the young girl from the small town of Willows Peak, Wisconsin. As hard as she tried to be the American girl people expected her to be, it all came to a crumble in the 80’s.
Barbie joined a Rock band The Rockers who introduced her to drugs and alcohol. 
Shortly after she got pregnant by her on and off again boyfriend Ken Carson who she later found in the bed with a male “friend”. After this discovery Barbie went into a downward spiral. Her daughter Skipper was taken from her after neighbors reported her as a negligent mother. Skipper was then raised by Barbie’s mother back in Wisconsin as her own daughter. 
Unfortunately this wasn't the end or “rock bottom” for her. She later reconnected with Ken who had a great idea on how to make some “real” money. He introduced her to his homeboy “Steven”, who ran an upscale escorting service. Steven introduced Barbie to the “crew”  Teresa, Midge, Christie, Todd and Stacey. Here she filled all kinds of fantasy’s from housewife to astronaut. But something was missing Barbie craved the bright lights.
Ever since then she has tried to regain her role as the leading lady in the industry. But, drugs, stress,alcohol abuse and her unconventional lifestyle have aged and tarnished the star drastically.
No one at this table had the heart to tell the old girl she was washed up and needed to accept this or that the Richard she keeps requesting every day around the same time was dead and had been for over ten years. No one bothered anymore it was useless she was a broken record stuck in a different time, a time when she was an icon and every little girl wanted to be her a time before drugs, men or Skipper a time before she lost her mind.

Victoria Maundrell


Delusional Reflections

This is worse than insulting! I can’t believe they had the audacity to make such an offensive creature and put my name on it. As if I would ever look that disgustingly old. I stormed into my room wielding the action figure I had commission to celebrate my rule over the kingdom.  I had already sent the crafter to be beheaded.  I threw the doll across the room screaming.
I pulled myself together and walked over to my beloved mirror to make myself feel beautiful, “Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” I asked.
My old friend shimmered into existence smiling at me, “You of course my queen. There is no one fairer in the land.”
I sighed in relief, “Thank you mirror.  I needed that.”
“No need to thank me your highness. You ask a question you get an answer.”
“Yes, I am so glad you are here. Come look at this disgusting old hag they made into a doll. I swear it is uglier than when I changed myself into a crotchety old woman to sell poison apples.”
“I am sure you are mistaken.” The mirror said nervously. “No one would dare create such a likeness. They must know they would lose their heads.”
“That they did.”  I said picking up the doll holding it up to the mirror to see.
The mirror grimace and I stood shocked gaping at the sight. In the reflection the doll was a beautiful perfect likeness of me.
“Mirror what is this trickery? I am trying to show you the doll stop with your tricks!” I shouted.
My old friend shivered and shimmered and moments later the dolls actual likeness came into view. I looked at my own reflection appalled, “Mirror, why have you reflected such a disgusting hag! I do not look like this doll! You yourself say I am the fairest in the land.”
“Yes, well, you do look part albino. I really don’t know anyone who is fairer than you. You must use mass amounts of sunscreen to keep from frying.”
“NO, NO, I AM BEAUTIFUL!” I scream throwing my doll at the mirror.
“Oh I never said that. I said fair and you are overly pale. I keep thinking you are going to drop dead but you just keep coming back. How are you not a corpse yet?” The mirror asked.
I ripped the mirror from the wall and smash it on the ground furious at its lies and trickery.
I heard a sigh from the floor. I saw its mouth in the broken glass.
“This is exactly why I didn’t show you. I hope you cut yourself on me you old hag!” It shouted and then disappeared in a puff of smoke and left the broken glass unenchanted on the floor.
“Devil mirror, I am not hag, I am beautiful! Guard!” I shouted. “Tell me I am beautiful.” I ordered.
He bowed at my feet, “Of course my queen, you are the fairest in the land.”
“WHAT!” I screamed offended, “Off with his head!”
It was time I got myself a tan.

~ Rose Von Barnesly

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