Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Stroll Down Memory Lane

"Working on the juvenile chain gang was no easy task. I worked along some of the roughest characters that ever set foot on the sweeeeeeeeeeeet Texas soil! Why I remember back in 1932 Sister Mary Agnes Dicksbee and Father Pete O'Malley were kind enough to give us a break after 3 days straight of back breakin' good ole hard labor. Back then they called it workin' off the bad in ya, now er days they'd call it child slavery. But, after several kids came down with the heat stroke they gave us a much needed break. And luckily we were working near the beach it was soo hot Sister Mary Agnes Dicksbee took off her bonnet and tunic and Father Pete O'Malley did the same by discarding his collar and such and well he started to chase Sister Mary Agnes around. Why Sister Mary Agnes got to squeelin' like a pussy in heat I swear when the rest of us saw them well everyone went wild. Kids started to rip off their traditional stripped pajama clothes they made us wear off and started running into the water and frolickin' in there that sand. The Fat boys as Sister Mary Agnes called them, they started to play leap frog which was strange to see such fat kids tryin' to jump over each other and every time they jumped they farted. Their farts alone was enough to bottle and throw on the Nazi's. I swear they could've ended that war quick with the Nelson brothers gasses.  Yep til this day I believe Sister Mary Agnes and Father O'Malley had caught the heat stroke because they got right in line behind them Nelson boys and started to play along with em. Yep I reckon their brains were almost plum cooked. And two of the badest and I mean badest siblings you ever met went right behind them. They were the Lovely twins as Father O'Malley called them they were a wretched bunch, two midget kids with faces like angels. You would think after being sent back to the orphanage at least 5 times claimin' to be the same age for five years in a row, someone would've caught on to them but they didn't. They were doin' time for bad behavior stealin' and that kind of thing. You couldn't tell by the looks of them but they were a force to be reckoned with and could beat the crap out of you in 2 seconds flat. I always said faces like angels but fists of the devil himself".


When John and Martha set out to do their first cloning experiment they never realized that trying to make the children lighter would end badly. They had problems with weight all their lives so they did their best to clone their kids and engineer them to be lighter. They kept them separated by light and dark clothes. The clones were just a couple years behind the original so they could be told apart but they knew once the kids got older they would start looking the same. It was best to get them in the habit of wearing different colors now.
Of course when they went to the beach their older clone Jeff started to have a problem. When they engineered the children they used mass amounts of helium to ‘make the kids lighter.’ Unfortunately this started to back fire as poor Jeff started floating up!
“Quick grab onto me,” George the original shouted at him as he braced himself on the ground grabbing fist full’s of sand.
Martha couldn’t help but laugh as Jeff called out in a squeaky voice. “Don’t let me fly away!”
Everyone even Jeff started laughing at his voice.
“Oh my look at his hair, it’s flying up as well!” Martha exclaimed. “What on earth are we to do?” She asked her husband.
“Why enter him in the Macy’s parade of course what else?”
Rose von Barnsley


My Grandmother was showing me old family photos from when she was a child. She said she loved it when her parents would make the 3-hour trip to the beach. Grandma said the one thing that always ruined their time there was how crazy her two older brothers would get. Uncle James and Uncle Bart were the biggest boys you had ever seen and they were double the trouble. As twins they were always in competition but it wasn’t academics they would compete in, it was who could be the loudest, the funniest, the most outrageous. Grandma said any public outing with the twins was always an event.

~ Selene de Modelo

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